Here are my singles roundups for 2009/10's
Student Direct: Mancunion Edition thus far.
SINGLES 21/09
Lady Gaga bolts out of the gate with the fourth single off The Fame, and gosh does it sound like it. The former Stefani Germanotta slides out the single crassest sex synonym since R. Kelly’s ‘Ignition’ (“I wanna take a ride on your disco stick”) - which would be eminently forgiveable were it not married to the same sort of anaemic 'future' R&B sludge that cruds up the third quarter of all Gwen Stefani full-lengths to date. People compare Gaga to Madonna; Her Madgesty’s fourth single was the mercurial ‘Borderline’. Just sayin’.
After ‘Now You’re Gone’ seized control of every teenager’s mobile phone on every single bus in the land, the Eurodance arena-shaker known as Basshunter is out to prove he’s more than just a bloody huge kick drum in relentless 4/4 time. On 'Every Morning' his sonic palette also encompasses a sample of an acoustic guitar, and, err, that’s it. The story is pretty much the standard wishy-washy love gone horribly bloody wrong but forget that SHIT because this is Ibiza YEAH. It meets its design brief (“make a club of proles dance”) and clocks off with admirable brevity, which is the best anyone could have hoped for.
In the dumper: A-Ha return for the umpteenth time with 'Nothing Is Keeping You', which sounds grown-up and windswept and several other synonyms for 'profoundly boring'. Sloppy seconds on offer from The Veronicas, whose bland mall-punk '4ever' charted in their native Australia four years ago when it was still three years past its sell-by date. Rammstein show zero career progress, offering the same industrial-rock nonsense as ever on the not-as-funny-as-they-think 'Pussy'.
Finally we have local (well, from Wigan) chanteuse Nancy Elizabeth, who takes a quantum leap away from her pastoral folk beginnings with an immaculate and dark imagining of what trip-hop would sound like if it originated from the woods instead of the inner city. There's not a wasted note here and her 'Feet of Courage' single proves enough to take this week's crown.
SINGLES 28/09
Say what you like about convicted fraudster Lou Pearlman, but when he simultaneously milked and managed US pop behemoth Backstreet Boys, they'd at least manage a high quality single once a year. 'Straight Through The Heart' is conveyor-belt nonsense that straddles a bizarre line between Usher's version of what the future looks like and Ace of Base's conception of the past. One to avoid.
La Roux are so '80s that insiders at their label tell me their next LP will be a recreation of the Miners' Strike played entirely on an Atari ST. Until then we'll have to make do with 'I'm Not Your Toy', a CD so lightweight that when the hacks at the office jabbed it irritatedly out of the stereo, it floated out of the window. Forgettable.
Rudebox was the shame fantasy of his naysayers, but Stoke's version of a charm offensive returns with 'Bodies', which is not The Great Robbie Williams Comeback Single some may have hoped for. Instead, it's more like the boring middle-eight from twenty okay songs stitched inappropriately together. Thankfully none of these songs are 'Rudebox', indicating a positive step forward for all concerned.
Opposite ends of the spectrum represented in this week's British guitar bands; The Enemy return to patronise the working-class a bit more on 'Be Somebody', coming across like the pub-rock Paul Weller manning The Jam karaoke. At least their misguided rage offers some substance; Bombay Bicycle Club have the slender cheekbones, hi-slung guitars and artfully rumpled shoes, but their 'Magnet' single is the lyrical and musical equivalent to a zephyr.
'Save It For Someone Who Cares' is the new effort by The Leisure Society. It won't define any epochs, but will catch you off-guard as you find the work radio tuned to Radio 2. It's chummy, melodic and understated; a parallel world theme tune to The Good Life. The only problem you'll have with this slice of late-summer sunshine is whether you'll still like it when your dad tells you he does too.
SINGLES 09/11
If the singles round-up is a lovely party, then Drunkdriver is your pissed-up uncle whose wife just left him. He needs a place to crash, but not as badly as he needs to urinate or learn social graces. This NYC trio flay a cyclone of abuse and ear-junk on their 7” 'Knife Day', a molecular-level garage-rock band practising behind a man violently querying his phone bill. In short, brilliant.
N-Dubz continue their diet pop-hop for the ASBO generation agenda with the admittedly catchy 'I Need You'. Sure, the sentiment is pretty banal (dude needs girl/girl needs dude) but it does contain the line 'look for you on Facebook / will I get a Faceback? / lookin' for you is like a needle in a haystack.' Who says brilliance can't be completely contrived?
What treachery! Girls are all boys! They're burning up the blogs with their sunshine/heartbreak lo-fi but all this hack hears is a reverb-heavy Cast with the American Shane McGowan honking away on vocals. Elsewhere on Indie Boulevard, the brothers Jarman and grumpy cousin Johnny Marr (aka The Cribs), throw out their best effort yet on 'We Share The Same Skies'.
When Britpop was in its pomp, reinforcing ancient 'real rock' stereotypes, Weezer were the ones showing that Americans could do irony without being completely depressed. They were funny and clever and economic – but never at the expense of writing killer songs.
Nowadays they're as cloying as Michael McIntyre's full-bore gurn and a thousand times as irritating. There's a million decisions goes into making an album – literally - and since the turn of the century, they've made every single one wrong. 'If You're Wondering...' is more ham-fisted than Porky Pig. Forget the taxi, this band need a hearse.
No comments:
Post a Comment