ART IN MACRO COMPLETE BUYER'S GUIDES #1: The Fall.

Skip to around two minutes into the above video and the case for the cultural significance of The Fall is made; that the tastemaker of tastemakers, the spiritual cool uncle of music, should name the group as his favourite ever. Also fans: Frank Skinner, David 'Bumble' Lloyd, the members of any half-decent US group of the last 30 years, etc.

We're not here to question The Fall's position in the critical canon. Let us assume they are as unimpeachable as Shakespeare, Keats, or Philip Schofield. We're also not here to teach you in detail about the tumult and the firings or even use the word 'curmudgeonly': other people have written books on those subjects. And while we're here, don't buy Mark E. Smith's "auto"-biography. It's one of the worst books ever ghosted.

The problem is: what to buy? No band can cough up thirty records (not mention endless compilations, bootlegs, sessions, and live albums) and not have a stinker amongst them and The Fall are no exception. We at AIM are industry leaders in objectivity and championing the consumer and are subsequently not afraid of any challenge. So here it is: every Fall record in 50 words.

LIVE AT THE WITCH TRIALS ****
Step Forward, 1979
Angry dock clerk Mark E. Smith adds the syllable '-uh' to every line. His drably-dressed friends make 'punk' music that only shares 20% of its DNA with punk (energy, attitude) but little else: they've heard Beefheart, some German stuff. Cheap keyboards, curious rants: soon to be left behind. Excellent though.
Key lyric: “We are The Fall. Northern white crap that talks back.”
Killer track: Two Steps Back

DRAGNET ****
Step Forward, 1979
Looser. Weirder. At times impenetrable. Blackly humoured, proud to be slack, notes flubbed left and right. The amateurish performances and mix sound fantastic though – a happy accident of anti-technique and confident direction. Dragnet marks the debut of key member Steve Hanley, whose bass often sounds like an industrial accident.
Key lyric: “I don't sing. I just shout. All on one note.”
Killer track: Before The Moon Falls

GROTESQUE (AFTER THE GRAMME) ****1/2
Rough Trade, 1980
Weirder still. They now throw their own warped take on rockabilly into the mix (which they call 'country and northern'. Get it?). Hard to describe in mortal words, so I'll try something pretentious – like Bosch re-imagined by LS Lowry. Images of terror and anger softened with humour. Best one yet.
Key lyric: “You think you've got it bad with thin ties, miserable songs synthesized, or circles with A in the middle. Make joke records, hang out with Gary Bushell.”
Killer track: Container Drivers

The Fall, Nijmegen, 1981: (l-r) Steve Hanley, Mark E. Smith, Karl Burns, Marc Riley.

SLATES *****
Rough Trade, 1981
Six-track mini-album/EP that has a reasonably solid claim to being the greatest achievement of all mankind. That is not an exaggeration. 'Slates, Slags, Etc.' takes The Stooges' template and improves upon it by not giving into rock & roll cliché. The three Rs in full, mesmerising effect: repetition, repetition, repetition.
Key lyric: “Academic male slags ream off names of books and bands. Kill cultural interest in our land.”
Killer track: Leave The Capitol

HEX ENDUCTION HOUR ****1/2
Kamera, 1982
Two drummers! Nerve-jangler 'Hip Priest' would find its way into the denouement of Silence of the Lambs at writer Thomas Harris' request. Loose. Some spaces dense with conventional chord changes and others stark and open and minimal. Generally considered their best by the beard-stroking contingent. On some days I agree.
Key lyric: “Made with the highest British attention to the wrong detail.”
Killer track: Fortress/Deer Park

ROOM TO LIVE ***1/2
Kamera, 1982
Unpolished and spontaneous, this record sounds like the run-time is all the time it took to commit this to its finished entity. That results in some brilliantly unforeseeable moments where instruments clash unexpectedly, creating new sounds. It also results in some slightly indulgent moments where 'spartan' and 'boring' are interchangeable terms.
Key lyric: “The sweetest sound she had ever heard was the whinging and crying due to the recession.”
Killer track: Solicitor In Studio

PERVERTED BY LANGUAGE ****
Rough Trade, 1983
The last of the two drummer records, sadly. Some definitive rants and some crucial stuff that almost grooves conventionally ('I Feel Voxish') are interspersed with slow, percussive tracks that routinely shatter the eight minute mark. A disciplined effort with no languers. Who is that female singer on 'Hotel Bloedel' though...?
Key lyric: “The best firms advertise the least.”
Killer track: Smile

THE WONDERFUL AND FRIGHTENING WORLD OF... ****
Beggars Banquet, 1984
So, Mark married an American (Brix) who plays a jangly Rickenbacker like Peter Buck. She must be in the band, decides Mark. A drummer goes missing and sunshine breaks the clouds over Salford. The first brushes with pop, whilst Steve Hanley keeps it dour at the low end. A palate cleanser.
Key lyric: “Used table leg to club son-in-law.”
Killer track: No Bulbs

THIS NATION'S SAVING GRACE *****
Beggars Banquet, 1985
THE starting point. Every idea works. Every track hurts. In a way, their least coherent record – the sum of thousands of influences. The pop of Brix, the grinding of the band, the playful experimentation of Mark...this should be every high school year seven set listening for one whole year.
Key lyric: “Was over accountant's and on business, then I woke up and I decided to recommence my diary. Then I read Paula Yates On Vision Mopeds. Then I found out we were not going to Italy. Later Mam said “Those continentals are little monkeys”.”
Killer track: My New House



BEND SINISTER ***1/2
Beggars Banquet, 1986
The first record without any real difficulties for the listener: this is a band that thrives on chaos! Instead: same line-up, same producer, same label. None of these songs would make the record before – no surprise - but age shows it to be no mere facsimile of a successful effort. Underrated.
Key lyric: “I really think this computer thing is getting out of hand.”
Killer track: Riddler!

THE FRENZ EXPERIMENT ***
Beggars Banquet, 1987
All over the place. The opening trio sound transplanted from 1981, before giving way to a diabetes-inducing version of The Kinks' 'Victoria'. Side two (vinyl fans) drags due to their first real stinkers, some clock the ten-minute mark. Nobody signed up for happiness: The Frenz Experiment reeks of it.
Key lyric: “Diluted Jesuits pour out of mutual walkmans - from Elland Road to Venice Pensions and down the Autobahns.”
Killer track: Frenz

Brix Smith, 1988

I AM KURIOUS ORANJ ****
Beggars Banquet, 1988
A huge curveball: a ballet score! Admittedly for maverick choreographer Michael Clark, this record besmirches ballet more than it does the band. There's a perverse sense of 'let's the see the bastard dance to THIS' running throughout, challenging the band to experiment for the first time in three years. Great!
Key lyric: “I was very let down with the budget. I was expecting a one million quid handout. I was very disappointed. It was the government's fault.”
Killer track: Bad News Girl

EXTRICATE ***1/2
Cog Sinister, 1990
Lead single 'Telephone Thing' isn't really The Fall: it's Mark singing over a Coldcut song. One song tenderly laments the divorce of wife Brix, the rest actively celebrates the divorce of wife Brix. Angular and tightly-wound, with two covers of pioneering garage-rockers The Monks. Another underrated effort; no real lows.
Key lyric: “Does the Home Secretary have barest faintest inkling of what's going down?”
Killer track: Bill Is Dead

SHIFT-WORK **
Phonogram, 1991
Arguably the most nondescript Fall LP: forgotten by all but die-hard fans. Transition from guitars to synths, a sense of the band trying to compete rather than just be. Moving Steve Hanley onto acoustic bass is like telling Mozart to try his hand at funk drumming. Effort? Yes! Reward? Little.
Key lyric: “California has Disneyland. And Blackpool has a Funland. And Flanders had No Man's Land. This place idiot show bands.”
Killer track: High Tension Line

CODE: SELFISH **1/2
Phonogram, 1992
I'm an ass for criticising Smith for bringing techno into the band's sound: they were always concerned with amphetamine-influence music, being a bit speedy themselves. 'Free Range'/'Everything Hurtz' was an essential double A-side single: the rest is a decent grab of garage and pop recorded in a watery '90s style.
Key lyric: “Your brain is software. Your brain is Game Boy. It's filled with excrement.”
Killer track: Everything Hurtz

THE INFOTAINMENT SCAN ***
Permanent, 1993
Popular! They've finally cracked the top ten on the crest of the Madchester house revival by throwing in some bouncy Korg-M1 piano sounds amongst the choppy guitars, grunting bass, and bizarre covers of songs by novelty artists and reggae stars. Personal theory: Animal Collective's 'Fireworks' develops this album's 'Light/Fireworks'.
Key lyric: “At my feet, one who laughs at anything. And at my head, one that laughs at nothing. And I'm just in-between.”
Killer track: Service

MIDDLE CLASS REVOLT ***
Permanent, 1994
The house direction made them popular. Being The Fall, they bring back the guitars and turn the synths way down. Mark sounds fairly restrained throughout an album full of angry content: class discomfit, anti-student resentment, and a cover of Cambridge alumni Henry Cow's 'War'. At times on autopilot, often inspired.
Key lyric: “Heinz is guilty on the borders of your imagination.”
Killer track: M5 #1

CEREBRAL CAUSTIC ***
Permanent, 1995
Earns three stars for sheer gumption: turning their back on the dance zeitgesit and sticking two fingers back up at the prevalent Britpop taking over their city and country by playing repetitive garage rock. Oh yeah – his ex-wife is back on guitar, slightly ruining some songs with her 'singing'.
Key lyric: “We have Richard and Judy's bastard offspring - baseball cap reversed.”
Killer track: One Day

Craig Scanlon played guitar in The Fall from 1979 to 1995.

THE LIGHT USER SYNDROME ****
Jet, 1996
The keyboards and samples are back, but this time they're being used less forcefully. Lots of space in the mix: tracks like 'Hostile' and 'Oxymoron' are monolithic creatures, approaching remorselessly. A word can be used that is not often used in the presence of Smith and his pirate band: subtle.
Key lyric: “Don't ever follow the path of being hard and tough when your heart is soft.”
Killer track: Hostile

LEVITATE ***
Artful, 1997
The closest the band got to an out-and-out dance album (not counting Smith's Von Sudenfed project). Slightly maddening production (by Smith himself) means some tracks have real bite, where others have a slightly watercolour feel to them. The songwriting is mostly encouraging, considering their impending implosion. Currently out of print.
Key lyric: “I thought about my debts. He was talking about his house in the Lake District.”
Killer track: The Quartet of Doc Shanley

THE MARSHALL SUITE ***
Artful, 1999
Big fight in New York in 1998: Smith gets jailed and the the band leaves – including Steve Hanley. Features 'Touch Sensitive' (remember the VW advert with the 'hey hey hey' song? That.). Surprisingly manages to be decent in spite of losing THE GREATEST BASSIST EVER. MES = a fool.
Key lyric: “And in dreams I stumble towards you. Knees knocked, as you evaporate. Though I am teed up, I am in the next room with you always.”
Killer track: Birthday Song

THE UNUTTERABLE ***1/2
Eagle, 2000
In a word: frontloaded. The first nine tracks represents their strongest start to an album since 1985! The final six never do much, including a turgid pub-rocker that Smith doesn't even bother to sing. Smith's newest girlfriend is in the band: her keyboard sounds are all six years too late.
Key lyric: “I was in the realm of the essence of Tong.”
Killer track: Two Librans

ARE YOU ARE MISSING WINNER *1/2
Cog Sinister / Voiceprint, 2001
American fight #2 and now Smith's girlfriend is out of his life: so are the rest of the band. The new guys sound like they've had two days with no electricity to learn a sixties garage album. It shows, but without the charming amateurism. Hyper-indulgent, mostly nonsense. Best track: a cover.
Key lyric: “The editor bedraggled, stumbled, some hurt, some days with film crew.”
Killer track: Gotta See Jane

THE REAL NEW FALL LP (FORMERLY COUNTRY ON THE CLICK) ****1/2
Action, 2003
All killer, no filler. Where they pulled this one from after years of diminishing returns is beyond comprehension. Another new girlfriend (later to be wife) is on keyboards and she's really good! Feels like a sequel to This Nation's Saving Grace: accessible, but obviously made by a complete original. Exquisite.
Key lyric: “So I went fishing. A note from a fish said: 'Dear dope, if you wanna catch us you need a rod and a line. Signed the fish.'”
Killer track: Janet, Johnny + James.

Eleni Smith (née Poulou): keys since 2002

FALL HEADS ROLL **1/2
Slogan, 2005
Perhaps that low mark is related to the fact that I paid £16 to buy it and hated it. Subsequent re-appraisal: too many two- and three- chord 'rockers'. Mark seems to think the band were once a conventional garage band: they were always too weird for that. Beauty found within.
Key lyric: “People in Great Britain, please don't get me wrong.”
Killer track: Midnight In Aspen

REFORMATION POST TLC **
Slogan, 2007
ANOTHER fight in America: band leaves. Seriously Mark, just don't go! You always mess up! His support act learned the songs and then he flew them to sunny Stockport to record this. A genuinely unremarkable effort, if anything: still not convinced about the Fall = garage-pop thing. Strangely lauded elsewhere.
Key lyric: “I've seen POWs less hysterical than you.”
Killer track: Fall Sound

IMPERIAL WAX SOLVENT ***
Castle, 2008
STILL going with the garage-pop thing, though at least there are some firsts: the opening track flirts with jazz. The new Mrs. Smith continues her strong showing behind the keys, displaying at worst an up-to-date knowledge and at best, pushing some sloppier tracks into the thumbs-up zone! A good find.
Key lyric: “The spawn of J. "Loaded" Brown and L. Laverne: with the dept. of no name.”
Killer track: Alton Towers

YOUR FUTURE OUR CLUTTER ***1/2
Domino, 2010
Their dullest rhythm section to date. They sound like two blokes at jam night. Fortunately, Mark, Eleni, and the new guitarist are all in sparkling form. New guy plays like Duane Denison, all bent notes and menace. Though he drops back to please the boss, he secretly steals the show.
Key lyric: “She has lips like Fedde Le Grand.”
Killer track: Chino

BONUS MATERIAL