Action Beat: "Playing on Christmas Day was the greatest idea we've had."

This post was written for Varsity online, one of the Cambridge student papers.

"On Christmas Day 2005, James and I hired a generator and drove my car around Milton Keynes playing in 4 different spots for over 2 hours. We started at an underpass near a built-up residential area. It was pitch black as all the lights were either smashed out or not functioning. We created an insane racket, with two guitars and a drum machine. People were coming out of their houses to check out the noise that was bellowing out of the underpass. We then moved on to an industrial area, which was a little more isolated and played for about an hour, and during this time a shitload of our friends had come out and were up for following us around to different spots. The next 'show', as it were, was one of my favourite shows off all time, because we played on a walkway bridge, going over the old A5! We finished up at Milton Keynes' notorious skate park. Playing on Christmas Day was probably the greatest idea we ever had."

One of the truly great bands of the 21^st century are based within a 50-mile radius of where you, Cambridge student, are sitting right now. No. Not London. Head southwest out of the city on the A603, where it becomes the sleepy B1042 and the A507, depositing you west of the M1 in Bletchley.

Most of the year, you won't actually find Action Beat there. This is one of the hardest-working, hardest-touring, hardest-living ensembles of recent memory. They have toured constantly for half a decade (until The Bergen Incident, more later). That is no mean feat for the average band, but Action Beat have seven, eight, sometimes ten members crammed like sardines into their van with equipment and personal belongings. Your correspondent has been in bands that argue deathlessly during a trip to the shop in mid-rehearsal break. There's no comprehending how you'd survive with sanity intact after showerless, nutrition-free days of close proximity and ear-shredding volume, with weeks stretched ahead promising much of the same. People have killed for less.

And their music is no easy-listening joyride for today's young-and-swinging single. When Action Beat hit their stride, it sounds like a war being thrown down a staircase. Electric guitars are tortured and bent like sheet metal, multiple drumkits pound away in remorseless ecstasy, with a phalanx of baritone guitars, electric violins, basses, and assorted percussion creaking and shaking and crashing along in white-hot fury. They never practice. They never sound-check. But years of live performance, refined taste, and taking the road less-travelled has honed these skinny teenagers into veterans.



In addition to this, most band members perform in other bands and put on shows in their hometown. McLean has also managed to transform his hometown label, dedicated to documenting local Bletchley heroes such as Dawn Chorus, Madrid Axemen, and Riotmen (among others), into a legitimate business by re-issuing Glenn Branca's 1981 masterwork The Ascension on heavyweight white vinyl. It's a labour of love, funded by “some inheritance money, and wanted to put it to good use rather than waste it on more van repairs.”

It really shows: Robert Longo's artwork gets the forum it finally deserves, whilst the power of the record never fails to overwhelm. If you haven't heard it, the album has not only had a profound effect on myself and Don, but members of various ensembles you might know by the names of My Bloody Valentine, Godspeed You! Black Emperor and Sonic Youth.

These years of fun are not without caveats. Years of the DIY lifestyle and aesthetic are taking their toll. Band and label chief Don McLean is about to have a child. On his band's Myspace, he recently posted the kind of blog that only a very nice person would post after years of being repeatedly kicked in the pants. Here are some choice examples of things encountered in the name of sustaining art:

"Hostel with inadequate number of beds, and an old women sleeping in the corner of the room who was obviously freaked out and overwhelmed by the 9 men who just entered the room. Her knickers were drying on the radiator, so that smelt good too. As if an old woman wants to stay with 9 other guys?!?!"

"The promoters at Incubate festival in Tilburg put us up in a squat ran by 18 year olds. It was basically a building site, with no windows or doors. Place was fucking freezing, and the kids spat all over the floor we were sleeping on."

And then there's The Bergen Incident. Shortly after their driver received a €1000 fine for testing positive for THC in a urine sample in Germany, their van broke down in Bergen, Norway. Look at it on the map. It is possibly the worst city in Europe to break down in: miles from anywhere, but facing the UK, being taunted. Just before the tour they had spent £1700 on running repairs and maintenance on the wretched thing.

For six cold days they awaited news on their van before being told it was a write-off. People in the city arranged a benefit show for them, but Norway is a place where a drink costs the same as a black-market kidney in the UK. They eventually flew home, utterly dejected, at a cost of £1800 for the six stranded members, leaving many thousands of pounds worth of gear behind in the van. McLean wrote on Myspace:

"Action Beat is in about £9000 debt now. We don't make money on tour, because our van is constantly breaking. It's now a write-off. We don't make money from record sales, cause we're not that popular."

Action Beat are not a household name. Their music is not accessible to everybody. They often suffer ridiculous indignities in the name of getting to a show and playing it (not that they are demanding or mean or expect kingly riches. Full disclosure: I've cooked for these guys on tour and they're almost pathetically grateful for a place to sit down and eat for an hour in silence). When they do get to the show and play it, even if the place is packed and they sell a few records, it goes back into the tour and the band and the label. So why do it?

The current working theory is this: no earthly feeling can adequately replace when this goes right. Watch.



Fortunately, even though Action Beat are a noise-rock force to name-drop on three continents, their commitment to DIY principles means that a guy like Don McLean is only ever an email away.

"Touring was always something that I had to do, and the 'pleasant novelty' never wore off for us. I am addicted to it, as are most of the band. The more time we can spend on the road the better, even if our minds suffer. In 2010, I got married, and now have a kid on the way, so 2011 won't be as active for us. A lot of members in the band have moved out of their parents, and are paying quite high rent, and this is another obstacle. So, it is definitely going to be a lot harder for us to just leave the country for 10 weeks, but I'm sure we will eventually find the means to do it."

In fact, his email is full of illuminating stories that it would make no sense to cut bits out of.

"It was definitely easier for us to tour so frequently when we first started the band. We all lived at our parents' houses paying little or no rent, worked shitty jobs we were able to quit when we eventually went on tour - and it was generally a really great time for the band because of the lack of any responsibility, or reality. I would plan out these ridiculously long tours, we'd fill the van with 9 people, and all save quite a lot of money so that the van rental and petrol was covered, the tours would run smoothly when we all paid for it. I would always say, “hey, you're paying £250 to go around Europe for 6 weeks. It's a great holiday!”"

Broken down vans, old women, and drug tests aren't the only nightmares of the road. There are also rats.

"It was at a farm which was squatted by French anarchists. It was actually a last minute show, because we had a day off, and it was a very good gig. When we checked out the place to sleep, it was pretty nightmarish, in a sick, cold, dark, damp converted cellar. Most of the beds were wet with condensation and nearly all of them had droplets of shit spread all over. Whilst sleeping, you could hear the rats above you, under the floor boards of the farmhouse. Insane. We actually returned there last year, and were dreading the sleep. We talked about how they had probably fixed the place up a bit, as it was a planned gig...wishful thinking I guess. We were wrong. More rat shit. This time, we all slept in the van, or in the venue."

Despite the hardships, they are not fazed. Their Myspace blurts out the message: “booking a short European tour in April. 2-3 weeks.” With dates set in Belgium, Bristol, and Manchester already (during the Easter break I might add) as well as more to come coupled with the reduced opportunity to see them over the next few years, this is a band worth the trip. For all the hardships they've endured it's the least you can do. But don't feel sorry for them. They're free and living.

http://www.myspace.com/actionbeat/
http://www.fortissimorecords.co.uk/

BASSHUNTER INTERVIEW

When the opportunity came up to interview the guy who has basically annexed my brother's ringtone for the last year, it was too much to pass up. I wish I had a transcript of the piece because he was genuinely nice, funny and engaging.

“Don’t go home with strangers and don’t forget your scuba gear.” This is how Basshunter (the nom de guerre of one Jonas Altberg, 24, chiselled, handsome) signs off our charming chinwag; with a timely piece of sex education. He’s also calling from his parents’ place on the west coast of Sweden, returning home after an intense bout of writing, record and touring.



We talk about the cranium-rattling new single ‘Every Morning.’ “It’s a true story; I broke up with a girl. On winter mornings I like a cup of coffee, and on one particular day I remember her standing over my bed and smiling, holding a cup for me.” The pair since broke up, and he channelled the wistful sentiment onto the wax that makes up the trailer for the upcoming Bass Generation LP.

His first global smash ‘Now You’re Gone’ told a similar tale of regret married to floor-wobbling bass and unpretentious synth madness. I ask if he’s aware of the clash between uplifting party vibes and sad personal content. “Oh, I guess because I just make music all the time, wherever I can, my personal life just becomes part of it.”

At this point you can see the gears ticking over in his brain. “Yeah, I can see it now. Heh. Yeah, people on the dancefloor having a great time and pointing at each other with smiles on their face singing 'now you're gone'. I suppose it is kind of funny.”



We talk tours; he's going on a nationwide jaunt this October. “There will be special guests, hot girl dancers, and, err, me.” His conversation is full of these slightly self-deprecating nuances, but they're endearing rather than mopy. Basshunter knows who he is, a self-proclaimed computer nerd (many times he speaks with authority on computational matters, keeping the interest of your technophobe hack) who plays on-line games with the same friends he had before the colossal fame.

That said, he doesn't actually like the fame game. “I really fucking hate the celebrity thing.” Wine, women and song – what's to hate? “I've been to a lot of these parties and I've never really had a conversation that interests me.” The tonal shift between talking about his friends, music and gaming (rapture) and the celebrities (purgatory) is pretty palpable. It's hard to feel that sorry for him though.

He uses the same software any Joe Schmo could download in minutes to make his beats with, making his hits some of the most profitable music in history. On top of that he's as unaffected and unpretentious as they come, no more so than when telling a story that indicates where his real priorities lie.

“When a flight gets delayed I always say 'yes!' It means I can get my laptop out and play some games for a while.” It does get him into trouble though. “Sometimes I get too into it and end up shouting “DIE! FUCKING ZOMBIE! DIE !”at the screen, then I look up and realise I'm in the airport and not at home. People don't like that.” No!

We wrap up our chat with the aforementioned instructions to pop a hat on your chap when doing that. Basshunter leaves, not to go back to his latest buxom Eurodance girlfan to follow his own advice, but to welcome home his parents from work with coffee. Jonas Altberg; the new, respectful face of commercial dance music.

Say hello to somebody #1

We're back from a self-imposed hiatus. Work, computer breakdown - you know how it is. In February 2007, Mark Prindle returned my request for an email interview with lengthy, funny, insightful and personal responses. Who he, ask you? Me tell.

Just as sure as anyone can have a blog, any person can listen to records and write their opinions on them. Anyone can learn HTML. Anyone can post up reader reviews, comment, criticism, rants and other nonsense too. But over the course of 11 years, for free? That's something. Besides, he's written for real publications and appeared on the real television to talk it up too. Here he is on Fox in 2008.



On top of that, there's the style. Or as I should say, 'styles' - Prindle is as likely to embrace surreality, grossness, sentimentality, seriousness,the kind of gonzo arthouse journalism employed by the Bangs and Kents of this world - anything but an academic detachment. This man loves records, and wants them all to be good. Often, they are not, and usually that is when things get funny.

The records I've bought on this man's say-so - dozens. I thank him for showing me Scharpling and Wurster, Thinking Man's Union Local #282, Skip Spence, Sun City Girls, Creedence Clearwater Revival and Cows. Not that he doesn't review 'regular' rock and roll bands; far from it.



I was incredibly touched when I saw how much effort he'd put into this interview for it to be used on a fairly obscure blog. I feel it something of a duty to make it useful for two obscure blogs instead. His words in normal type, mine in are too, just indented.
----
So, for everyone out there in internet-land who isn't aware of you (the cretins!), could you just introduce yourself?

My name is Mark Donavon Prindle. I am 33 years old and live in Manhattan with my wife Brenda and 6-year-old son Henry The Dog. I have become a semi-micro-mini-web-celebrity on the alleged strength of my dumbass web site www.markprindle.com. This site, an 11-years-and-counting labor of OCD, features trillions of profane, off-topic record reviews and interviews with top punk musicians of yesteryear and tomorrowday. Many of my reviews are just awful, but some are hilarious and a few are even insightful (I'm told). The site averages about 4,000 individual visitors and 35,000 click-throughs per day.

I also post a "Wacky Weekly Wphoto" of hilariousness, which everybody enjoys and is enjoyed by all. Although I am completely honest in my writing and opinionating, almost everything I write is 'taking the piss' so I urge readers not to take any of it very seriously. I also used to be a Homemade Guitar God, and have several unreleased CD-Rs to my name. I haven't played in years though. Too old and rickety.

OK. I'm going to tell you a little story. Once upon a time, I went to a music review workshop with a very well-known British writer. I submitted a review for open discussion and he claimed there were 'too many exclamation marks'. This struck me that music journalism was a place not of creativity & critical objectivity, but a place often as boring as being a musician itself. So, what would he make of your reviews? And what do you think of them? And, err, reviewing in general?

Music reviewing is a bullshit job for bullshit people. The job of a music journalist or historian requires significant research and understanding of past trends and influential moments in the history of the art. But music reviewing is just saying what an album sounds like to you. Even though the "quality" of different pieces of music is subjective (fully dependent on the preferences of the individual listener), a music reviewer should still be able to describe a record in such a way that, even if he hates it, fans of that type of music might still be interested in hearing it. Your well-known British writer was just expressing his personal opinion when he claimed that your review had 'too many exclamation marks.' If he were your editor, it would be important that you listen to his opinion. Since he is not, he can eat the dick. I'm sure you could nitpick his style too.

You haven't really told me enough about the writer for me to answer the question of whether or not he would like my style. Perhaps he would enjoy my sense of humor, perhaps not. And why do you find 'being a musician' boring? I've had some of my most fun and creative life moments while playing the old guitar - both with friends and alone. It's a lot of fun! It's not music's fault that many musicians are dull. People in all fields of life seem dull if you have nothing in common with them.

What do I think of my reviews? Here is a post I left on a message board recently, in response to a couple of people who were trashing my writing style:

"My writing definitely isn't 'for everybody.' In fact, a lot of it isn't even 'for me' at this point. But I can't go back and rewrite the whole damned site."

As for throwing in too much personal stuff and humor, that's kinda my 'schtick' as it were. It's the only (questionable) advantage I have over other reviewers, and it's also the only way to keep myself interested in what I'm doing. I mean, I do try to explain how the albums actually sound (much more now than in the past), but the reason people seem to keep coming back to my site is because they like my writing style.

And those who don't come back -- well, they DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL!

The worst part about it is that, in 11 years of writing, there are some TERRIBLE pages on my site. Yes, there was definitely a period when I used gross language and imagery just for the shock value (when I do it now, I try to write actual JOKES with it, rather than just throwing it in to shock). Yes, there was a time when my reviews said hardly anything at all about the records (90% of the time now, they say a HELL of a lot -- it's just that you have to read through all the other bullshit to find it). And yes, there was definitely a period when I simply couldn't write worth a shit and had no notable identity. But if I spent the time it would take to re-write everything that I no longer like, I wouldn't write a new review for the next three years!

Having said that, I DO honestly think that some of my reviews are funny -- but only to ME PERSONALLY. Over time, I tend to forget what I've written, so sometimes while adding reader comments, I'll happen across an old passage that I find absolutely hilarious. Not in a "God, I'm funny!" way, but "God, that's funny! I wrote that!?" way. And if nobody else finds it amusing, that just means that I have an idiosyncratic sense of humor. Sure, why not in life?

One thing I really do want you to understand though is that I'm not arrogant. Sometimes people accuse me of that, and I don't know how to respond. Maybe my 'writing style' is just so far removed from my 'actual identity' that it comes across as confidence. I don't have a hell of a lot of confidence."

As for reviewing in general, I just want reviews that tell me what an album sounds like. Pretty much the only ones I read are All-Music Guide, because they're pretty good about leaving out the bullshit (i.e. the kind of time-wasting crap I write) and just telling it like it are.

So is it true that you purchase all the records you review? If so, if an artist begins to suck you are tied into buying them all?

Oh God no. Why would you think that? I try to get free mp3 or CD-R discs of everything I can these days, particularly since there are pages on my site for people I can't stand (ex. Tori Amos and PJ Harvey). I do still have far too many albums and CDs though (15,000 maybe?)

One thing I've noticed is that you seem incredibly passionate about certain artists, but that passion and genuine evangelicising is passed over by a pedantic section of your fanbase. Ever get pissed off at the people who write in? Have you ever wanted to publically castigate their words? Also, does it ever annoy you when you are considered a bad writer when a) you majored in English from a fairly prestigious college and b) it's quite obvious that you aren't?

I got annoyed at Pedro Andino for sending in too many all-caps comments that had nothing at all to do with the reviews or albums I was discussing. But I just stopped posting them, so that took care of that. Otherwise, I sometimes get a twitch of anger at people who go off on me when they clearly don't understand what I'm trying to do. But that's just a natural human reaction. Once I post the comment and delete it from my email box, I never think about it again (thank God!). The one good thing about angry notes is that I can forward them to my friends, who quite enjoy them.

The few times that people have complained to me that I'm a bad writer, it is usually in response to a particularly bad piece of writing that has been on my site for 7 or 8 years. So I generally respond, "Hey, you're right! That IS a terrible page!" Unfortunately, sometimes you have to read a few pages before finally getting to something worth reading. And even then, you might not like my writing style. It's a bit hyper-active and obscene.

Since the site has started, what changes to your life are directly attributable to it?

I have more confidence in my un-worthlessness now, thanks to the many wonderful people who have supported me with readership and positive feedback over the years. I also feel like I'm achieving self-actualization, by constantly creating reviews that people can enjoy for the writing itself -- regardless of what I'm reviewing. In my 20's, I came to the realization that I would never be a rock star because (a) I lack the leadership skills to lead a band, (b) I don't have the discipline necessary to go through all that touring bullshit, and (c) nobody likes my music. But this web site thing has somehow garnered me lots of 'fans,' which is neat!

I also have more friends and more CD-Rs/MP3 discs than if I'd never started the site. And much less free time.

One thing that is noteable about your reviews is that often they are a forum for you to talk about whatever is on your mind that day: be it an anecdote about being drunk in a Mexican restaurant with your wife, a travel diary or a tirade against Bush. Why do you think you do this? A fringe benefit of having total editorial control, or because you simply can?

I do this because my reviews are the only personal writing I do. If I want to remember something funny that has happened to me, this is where I put it. Also, I don't like the thought of my main creative endeavor being a parasite wholly dependent on somebody else's work, which is what critique of any sort generally is. As such, I like to put in lots of my own personality so people can't just say, "When nobody remembers who Gwar is, your writing will be forgotten and worthless." Well, it probably still will, but at least there are some funny lines in there. So FUCK OFF.

Not you, the interviewer.

Which bands & artistes are grabbing you right now?

Nobody in particular. I just buy and buy and buy and listen and listen and etc. But I hardly spend any time with new CDs until it's time to review them, so sometimes I think I really like a band, then I'll study them more closely for review and realize they're terrible. This happened with GBH and, to a lesser extent, Gwar.

One CD I recently got that excited me quite a bit was "These Are Jokes" by comedian Demetri Martin. He's hilarious! I also finally completed my Bill Hicks collection. I've grown to really enjoy him. Even when he's not tossing out zingers left and right, he's just a lot of fun to listen to. But I think you're talking about music. So let me think about some music people I've been listening to lately.

I now own every single Johnny Cash studio album except "The Rambler," and like a surprising number of them. I recently listened to about half of my Grand Funk albums (I own all of them) and was pleased to learn that they're not all terrible. I really like Wishbone Ash's "Argus" album. I'm still a huge fan of 'outsider' artists and weird music, like Tangela Tricolli's "Jet Lady," Kenneth Higney's "Attic Demonstration," Shooby Taylor The Human Horn, Rodd Keith and all the other song-poem artists, corporate musicals, Arf!Arf!'s "Only In America" compilations, Recordio discs, and just novelty music in general. I'm also really into (for no clear reason) poorly-conceived tribute discs, like all these asinine bluegrass and string quartet tributes to Aerosmith, AC/DC and nonsense like that. I own ten of the "Rockabye Baby!" lullaby CDs and will definitely pick up a few more in my day. I own probably 40 Ramones tribute albums, including steel pan, new wave, blues-rock, karaoke, lullaby, surf, muzak and rockabilly interpretations of their work.

And I'm said that it's been so long since Yes put out a studio album. I still love Yes.

Away from the computer, on which you are a SUPERSTAR, what do you like to do in 'real life'?

Watch horror, exploitation and sexploitation movies. Why, just last night I 'enjoyed' a mid-70s German sexploitation film called "The Sinful Bed." See, it's about this talking bed, see, that tells you about all the different sorts of people that have had sex on it over the years. And - get this - the film actually SHOWS the softcore sex in flashback form! Wow!

I read a lot of non-fiction -- mostly about movies and occasionally music, if it's something interesting. I read some humor too. Good old humor, making people laugh.

I love eating at Uno's Bar & Grill (formerly Pizzeria Uno), and do so several times a week. I always start off with a bowl of peanuts from the bar, and glasses of water and Diet Pepsi. Then I order a flatbread Chef's Choice pizza with hamburger, pepperoni and sliced tomatoes, along with a ton of napkins so I can wipe all the grease off the food and blow my nose a billion times as is my wont. For dessert, I get a Deep Dish Sundae with extra ice cream, and ask them to make sure that the cookie is soft. I can't stand it when the cookie is hard. I feel the same way about penises.

For exercise, I take Tae Kwon Do classes with my wife three days a week. We've been taking them for four years, and are scheduled to go for our Black Belts in May of this year. Wish us duck!

Finally, I enjoy spending quality time with my wife and dog. What kind of asshole wouldn't?

I hate everything else.