#663
Chesney Hawkes, 'The One & Only'
1991
Chesney Hawkes has managed to retain a place at the edges of stardom, appearing in advertisements for washing powder and on reality TV, for the sum total of what appears to be one #1 single in 1991. It's ideas like that which propel this blog in all of its inanity and futility. That this one otherwise unremarkable dude (aside from his astonishing Dorian Gray-esque youthfulness) can just stick around by flopping the calling card of this semi-ok pop song that sounds a bit like the summation of a TV show about how an unremarkable dude managed to retain fame 21 yeas after any relevance: as the lyric says, "you can't take that away from me"
(4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_r0oQE5jEU
#530
Paul McCartney, 'Pipes of Peace'
1984
At primary school, the headteacher was given to playing a song as entrance for the day's assembly. Often the song was something very soft rock 'messagey' and for some reason the only ones I can remember both featured Paul McCartney in his post-Beatles era. One was the immortal 'Ebony & Ivory' with Stevie Wonder, and one of them was this. Maybe there was a Sting song in there too. The lyrics were chalked up on the blackboard. The deputy head would sometimes play along on the school piano. It was a magical time. Martin O'Neill (school friend, not the Sunderland manager) used to blow a raspberry throughout this song, and Neil Parr would 'armpit fart' the percussion. Now I listen back to the tune, they are missing those key musical elements, and all that is left is a preachy song with a weird video where Macca plays a bunch of soldiers.
(3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVK_mJrLbmY
#702
Mariah Carey, 'Without You'
1994
The craziness hadn't quite caught up with Carey by this point and though not as famous as she would become, the general consensus was that she was a sweet-voice and good-natured pop star with a nice voice and line in summery pop like the awesome 'Dreamlover'. This song represents the transition between Mariah Next Door and Imperial Mariah. Nilsson's song is treated as nothing more than a platform for the singer to launch all kinds of vocal acrobatics and as such smothers the anguished howl of the original. By the time the gospel choir comes in after the second chorus, X Factor has a firm template for all of its future endeavours.
(3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hat1Hc9SNwE
#148
Cliff Richard, 'Summer Holiday'
1963
Summery fluff soon to be wholly owned by the institute of lazy advertising executives stuck for jingles.
(3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbNP5yqg7hc
#694
Culture Beat, 'Mr. Vain'
1993
At one point (presumably 1993) I knew ALL of the words to this, which features TWO raps, which is therefore quite an accomplishment for a 10-year old. Culture Beat represent part of the then-nascent Eurodance trend that would peak with Whigfield, Aqua, Haddaway, Dr. Alban, & 2 Unlimited. This song was generally a little darker and expansive, borrowing the synth modules from Snap! and 'Rhythm Is A Dancer' and pushing them into a more fluid composition: the tempo remains constant and relentless but there's a definite shifting of the musical underpinning that makes this song a little more impressive than I had bargained for. Still no clearer on figuring out who 'Mr. Vain' is, but if I had to guess, I would say that it is a man who is hitting on the female singer with a lot of braggadocio and she's all 'whatevz dude'.
(5)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvgUdrzGNys
#209
Overlanders, 'Michelle'
1966
When I wrote out the 20 songs that this part of the blog would cover, this was the song that I was looking forward to the most because I had never heard of it before. Turns out that I have: it is a VERY straight cover of the Beatles song of the same name released one year previously. Many fans of the Beatles don't particularly like this song as an example of McCartney's burgeoning predilection toward cheese, but this channels a very light Django Reinhardt feel, all Belgian cafes and drunkenly raffish sentiments, and compresses it into a likeable short pop song.
(6)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEQaU8FnJIk
#286
England World Cup Squad, 'Back Home'
1970
An interesting take on the football song. Instead of cheering about the skills of the team and individual players, the lyric talks about how people 'back home' (as the team would be travelling to Mexico to defend their world title, unsuccessfully as luck would have it, owing to a rather prolific West German fella named Gerd Muller) will be really supporting the team quite a lot and hoping that they win.
I'm all for reasonable statements framed in pop songs and look forward to 'I married for love but stay together for the kids and societal pressure', 'I bought this car for good mileage and the insurance on the Audi was crazy', and 'I'll be mostly upset but will get on with my life should this relationship end.' A song of commendable brevity, opting to stop after realising that it was going nowhere and that Peter Bonetti's vocal range couldn't carry a middle 8 and key change.
(4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYW9NmmiuOg
#73
Everly Brothers, 'All I Have To Do Is Dream' / 'Claudette'
1958
Never been a man of the Bros. Everly thing though there's no denying that this kind of music is one of those instant sonic signifiers of a certain era, and in possessing that direct connection with era and place, can be exploited by directors such as David Lynch: the music speaks of innocence so baldly and plainly, and in such impeccably performed musical terms, that there HAS to be an undercurrent of weirdness and murder and sex and death. Right? RIGHT? Right. Side AA is unremarkable, side A ubiquitous.
(4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m24uUzJgfwQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0Otk53qFwM
#52
Johnnie Ray, 'Just Walking In The Rain'
1956
Eulogised famously by Dexys Midnight Runners and possessing a bold blue-eyed tenor, Johnnie Ray sang pop that manages to be musicially of its era (whistling, close harmonies, tempos that induce torpor) and yet in terms of production, absolutely timeless, full of richness and depth and clear as a bell. Maybe it was all the carbohydrates we were eating in the post-war era but the slowness of all of these earlier singles makes them seem a little flat and dull at times: that said, the relentless up-tempo of the 2010s and over-mastered self-aggrandizement is just as much of a crappy sonic hallmark.
(4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfBJunktsdI
#887
Rui de Silva ft. Cassandra, 'Touch Me'
2001
Ibiza music of its era (we've been through this) that got to #1 by being released in the first week of the year and riding a wave of collective apathy. Melancholy but uplifting, steady, unexciting, yawn.
(3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FkApmj8K1M
#27
Dickie Valentine, 'Finger of Suspicion'
1955
This countdown is making me realise how bloody crap this country was in the 50s for any kind of art, ANOTHER slow big-band weepie croonerfest, thank you Bill Haley, thank you Elvis, thank you Lonnie Donegan. This is SO boring. Sorry for being all 2012 and short attention span over this OH WAIT I AM LISTENING TO 1192 SONGS FOR FREE AND WRITING 200 WORDS ON EACH, FUCK YOUR ATTENTION SPAN, WHERE'S YOUR BLOG 1955 MUSIC CRITIC?
(2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUzOomtEPlE
#600
T'Pau, 'China In Your Hand'
1987
AOR's cleverest move was adding very feint and mildly-distorted guitars and rebranding as 'soft rock', a complete oxymoron because rock is supposed to smash your ears up, not sooth them into a warm bath/played relentlessly by your mum in the car. T'Pau are soft-rock incarnate, all unsophisticated upward reaching replete with obnoxious sax solos and drudgery-affirming lyrics (your dreams are fragile, they will smash = don't dream) that chugs along gamely but never really achieves more than meme status.
(3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvElWJJS6po
#243
Love Affair, 'Everlasting Love'
1968
REALLY hate this song. It may be 1968 and hippies-a-go-go but that smarmy-ass overegged production would ruin the next 7 years of popular music in its smooth orchestrated smuggery. I once DJed a wedding and refused to play it (no one asked, thankfully, but it is a go-to given the sentiment) because it makes me retch, mentally, if not physically. Is it well-written? Not particularly. I can remain objective enough to say that it never rises above the generic and is only bolstered by some over-enthusiastic horn playing and a chorus that is unforgettable in the way witnessing a car smash into a cyclist is.
(2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8Le8bH3Y8U
#258
The Beatles, 'Hey Jude'
1968
And let it never be said that I am nothing but a massive hypocrite because this song from the same year with similar levels of swelling and overbearing production and a fairly obvious sentiment is something I DID DJ at an engagement party because I really like the song and it was also fairly appropriate for the occasion. In no way worthy of the seven minutes it takes to make its happy-clappy point but it's a pleasant journey nonetheless.
(6)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDdI7GhZSQA
#568
George Michael, 'A Different Corner'
1986
The still-presumed heterosexual and lesser-fancied one out of Wham! has a very versatile and pliable voice, able to convincingly switch between sensual pop croon to powerful (though rarely overbearing) range-crawling. It's this instrument that is showcased on this weird little single, all MIDI-strings and light keyboards floating like a coma dream with Michael just gliding through the mix on a gilded swan of clear-toned melody.
(6)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPWHkK-_a_A
#1053
Sugababes vs. Girls Aloud, 'Walk This Way'
2007
I think this was for charity so I will cut it some slack - it's hardly the sacred cow in either Run DMC or Aerosmith's back catalogue. That said, it is a breezy and lightweight cover of a pretty fun song that adds nothing to the original but takes much away.
(3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Jvrjd8DI-c
#23
Don Cornell, 'Hold My Hand'
1954
A snoozefest about being in heaven with a woman, christ, can you not just possess her on earth, what IS IT with you songwriters and your eternity shit?
(2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZqyLDTxgZA
#1050
Mika, 'Grace Kelly'
2007
An entertaining oddity from the recent past about genderfuck and sexual confusion sung in a voice that alternates between helium-voiced madness and homage to Freddie Mercury. It's all so dayglo and eager to please and assert how bloody different it is (and it is!) that it comes across a bit desperate and ankle-biting, though never becoming outright dislikeable or annoying, provided you can tolerate vocal gymnastics of the outer space kind.
(5)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHtPSmP5nLw
#873
A1, 'Take On Me'
2000
Boy bands were largely on their way out at this point, or the game was changing into more subtly-styled affairs that would later breed JLS and The Wanted, whereas A1 were fresh-faced pop muppets blithely singing whatever shit was poked under their nose. At no point can you imagine any of the group saying 'hang on, if we ARE going to cover this utterly ubiquitous A-Ha song, can we put in the power to the drums and the tempo?', instead accepting the bland gruel that is this song, garnishing it with their sparkling personalities which live on in our hearts to this day.
(2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbCsIKI6HEU
#442
Gary Numan, 'Cars'
1979
OK so this might say something weird about me but I quite like songs that sexualise and fetishise things that aren't human as long as they essentially comment upon an element of human dysfunction. No one wants to hear the bike fucker's lament purely for the bike-fucking. Anyway, this was Gary Numan's thing back then. "Here in my car / I can only receive / I can listen to you / It keeps me stable for days in cars." YOU DO REALISE HE DOESN'T MEAN CARS SPECIFICALLY RIGHT?
Numan's better songs of this era also had a really good musical trick of opening with a really big hook and then jumping to a more subtle emotive hook later in the song before merging the two late in the song. I guess because of his 'look' of the time and his self-isolated stance he is an easy target for bad nostalgising of this era but let's be honest, 'Cars' is a great song and really convincing in the way that it puts a firm finger on this disenfranchisement many would feel toward the government parachuting into power that year and the way it would isolate the vulnerable and enable a retreat into simulations of joy. OR SUTTIN.
(8)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ldyx3KHOFXw
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